can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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