Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
