I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
