How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
im holly from the hills drunk
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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