Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
