butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
