Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
