we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
