She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
