even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
