So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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