I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
