Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
