Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
