I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
