i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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