I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
