I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
