I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
