nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
did i walk over a car last night?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
