I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
