I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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