This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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