What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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