If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
