you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Green mimosas i think yes
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
