i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
