just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
