to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
