Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
