So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
