Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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