I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
