I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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