this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
