We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Alive.
So much puke
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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