We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
