i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
