Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
