Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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