I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
