My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
