Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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