so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize