I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have tasted many bathrooms
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
