I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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