You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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