Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
is it fun? or sober?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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