I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
