Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My legs feel like baby dolphins
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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