I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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