You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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