I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
