you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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