At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
