3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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