yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I AM VODKA MAN
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
