I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
there is glitter all over my balls
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
