i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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