Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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