If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
