***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
