Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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